did you get my letter yet?

i'm setting a new goal for myself.

it's going to be hard, but i'm going to try my darndest to reach it. :]



i just hope i can do it, and i hope it works.

i don't care what you do. i think you're fantastic.

i really do. :]


well, so far, besides wanting to puke, almost christmas is going fantabulously.
i sort of wished for one thing, but i'm not gonna get my hopes up. oh man it would be great.

ha.


anyway, i hope you have a merry christmas or whatever holiday you're celebrating.
<3

if i cut my hair, hawaii will sink.

i love the show skins.
on bbc? anyone watch it?
awesome. :]

so work went by slow today. really slow. we were packed and our system was down so the registers were going sooo slow. plus, we couldn't take debit cards, and i didn't know that and i kept trying to run some guys card through and he ended up getting really impatient and yelling at me. :D
yay.

anyway. things seem to be getting better. hopefully they keep getting better. that'd be pretty fabulous.

you should talk to me. :]
tell me about you.

aim-nocamisados

it's a plague.

i just want to be happy. :]


i don't know what i did to make you hate me, but forgive me. please?
i'm sorry.

would it be okay if i made your heart smile at the end of the day?

gahd. i hate everything sometimes. it's ridiculous. and i'm having terrible mood swings.
like, i'll be sooo happy and joyful and then it turns to "fuck off!"
i don't even know. just w/e.

:] i'm trying to do all i can but everything is going to shit. i can hardly take it anymore. they say that everything will always be okay in the end, but i see no end to all of this.

talk to me. tell me about you.

aim-nocamisados

"anybody like hard bacon or soft bacon?"

so, i'm sitting in georgia. :] breakfast is almost finished. eggs, bacon, biscuits, the whole country breakfast. i don't really want to eat, but i feel as if i should. nita told me that, "i know you wont' like it, but i'm going to make you eat." i just kind of smirked and walked away.
don't get me wrong, i know i have to eat, i just don't like to.

anyway, moving on....
today, we're going to the cabbage patch nursery. lmao. it's gonna be great. :D the tree is gonna have babies!!!!!
well, it's not the tree, but it's "mother cabbage."
YAY!!!

it's breaking my heart that you're leaving.

but if you wanna leave, take good care.


argh. so things have been going good this week, but there have been times i just wanna break down. whatever, i'm a big girl. i'll manage. :]
anywho...how's everyone else been?


okay, so tomorrow, i'm leaving for Georgia. ;D i'm staying with some family, but my mom isn't going to be there. she's going somewhere else. north carolina? i think, idk.
it should be fun though. we'll pretty much just go shopping a lot, but i want to go to a haunted trail or house or something because halloween is getting close. i like being scared. x]

ohhhh. and i finally got a job. yay! i'm going to be working at Circuit City. woo.

what's next for you and i?

ugh. "/ so things seem to be going downhill and i can't really do much at all about it. it's really awful, but i'm managing. things were pretty super today. me, bradley, and whitney seem to always have fun in fourth block even when things aren't that exciting.
i got my wisdom teeth cut out this past friday and i missed two days of school and now i have a shitload of stuff to catch up on. "/ it kinda is not awesome.
oooo. we're doing a project in 4th block and me, whitney, and bradley are in a group and we figured out an awesome idea. :]
we're going to plan a big murder scavenger hunt game. ;D it's going to be amazing. we get to organize it and everything. it's going to be a 1920's thing and we're all going to dress in costume. the whole thing.

stop pretending.

so...last friday i was in a car wreck. i hardly remember any of it. what i do remember was just crazy.
like, no joke.
so, we went off the road and he over-corrected and we were going toward the hill on the left side of the road and he jerked the wheel right, and when he did that we spun around and we went over a hill and airborn. we hit the bottom of the hill and i'm pretty sure we bounced, (because there are no marks from where we hit to where we stopped.) and we went through a cinderblock doghouse thing. and there was a dog in it!! but he's okay. :] he was just very, very, very scared.
i had to go to the hospital. "/ i had a major concusion and blacked out several times. also, i'm pretty much just a giant bruise all over.

ugh. anyway...the week seems to be going by slowly and painfully. i'm sooo sore. my left side is killing me. [from the wreck, if you didn't figure that out.] ugh. all my friends seem to be so humorous when it kills me to laugh. ^_^ how exciting.

rising from the ashes.

i don't feel good at all. i haven't for a while. like, several days ago i started feeling bad and it hasn't got better. "/ i have no idea what's wrong with me. i just hpoe everything gets better.
ugh. my birthday is next week. maybe that will make things better. i doubt it, but we'll found out. :]

we're all too small.

okay. i can't sleep. i'm not sleepy at all. i'm bored as shit. ugh. "/

well, it's almost my birthday. i guess that's exciting. i get to get four piercings. :] woo. all in the same day!! how exciting is that?!

but...i have to get a job. but i'll have money, so i guess that's always good.
i dyed my hair today. it was super fun. it turned out a bit darker than i wanted, but it's still awesome. :]


also..totally of subject..but whatever.
some people are really pissing me off, and you know what? they can kiss my ass. i try so hard not to care, but it always gets so me. ugh. i'm not sure what i'll do. i'll get over it eventually. ;D

let's just stop, drop everything.

i really want to meet new people. and i want to get out more, but it seems like i never get a chance to.

okay, i just looked up at the tv and there was a dog dressed up like a pig. wtf?

anyway...i'd like to get an acoustic guitar, but i'd be afraid i'd be too lazy to play it. i'd also like to get a keyboard because my grandma's piano is out of tune, so it doesn't sound good at all when i play it.
another thing...i don't really want to do cheerleading anymore, but i'm afraid mom is going to try to make me. it's just not what i want to do anymore. i don't have any interest in it. but, whatevs.

have a nice day. :D

i wish i was a baller.

so, uh...i got my hair cut and now i look like william beckett. ^_^
bahaha. with boobies. it's kinda funny.
but it's cool fer now. :D i like it. it's a change.


so, right now, i'm listening to this song and it's all piano, and it's awesome. it kinda makes my insides turn and knot up for some reason, but i can't stop listening to it. It's so magical and sweet sounding.

:] so yeah. i had a pretty good day.

i want to be everything you want.

i want to give you butterflies in yer tummy. ^_^

i want to be the cute little things a lot of people don't take into consideration...

pillowy kisses on the forehead. the cold side of a pillow. the warm sun. the green grass. the butterfly in the distance. a just bloomed flower. the credits of a movie. leaves falling off a tree. clothes, fresh out of the dryer. stars in the sky. the wind in your hair. silence.


i want to be the friction in your sheets.

epic fail.

so, uh...i have these mixed feeling things going on lately.
like, there's this person that I think I like, but I'm not sure. when they're around me, it seems like they always act different so i have no idea what to feel about the anymore. eh, whatevs. :]

well, i went to a show last night and itwas UH-mazing!! ^_^ i had tons of fun.

doooddddleee wooooddlee. :] i think i'm getting my hair cut this weekend. i'm so freaking excited. i've been wanting my hair cut for so long now. i think i might get it cut around shoulder length with like short choppy layers or whatevss. i need my bangs trimmed to anyway so, it's gonna be awesome. :]

anywho...IM me or something. tell me about you.
AIM-nocamisados

answer the damn phone!

i'm dying inside. it's finally hit me. people are bringing reality to me and it's all so hard for me to take in. i've been living in a dream land and i need to snap out of it.

keh-rah-tay!

i'm soooper bored. :] i'm watching spongebob. goooooooo!!!! lately i feel like everyone is trying to upset me but, i'm trying to disregard all the mixed feelings i'm getting. "/ eh. whatevs.

Wrestle the Bear.

whoas. there's nothing to do at all. i'm just sitting here with Travis at school. We're in the English office because i don't have a class this block and he's supposed to be at Carver. Today is step-up day so there's a bunch of 8th grade kids here. I'm super hungry too. It's almost time for lunch anyway so i think i can wait. :] anywho. bye.

i'm useless.

i'm an idiot. i really am. the one chance i get to try and fix something i have to turn around and fuck it up. i just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. someone might as well have just shot me in the head right there. dsal;jfl;dksjf. gah. why the hell am i such an idiot. no one deserves this. i've brought way too much on people. not good stuff either. ;laskjkdf;lasjf. fuck it.

effffff it.

okay. i've figured it out. i'm just gonna let just about everything go and start over. i'm not giving up everything, but a large majority. anyway, the reason for all this is because people have pointed some things out to me i wish i would've noticed myself. it really makes me upset to know all that's going on around me that i didn't even see. i'm so mad at myself. you don't even understand. i want to talk to someone about it, but i have no one to talk to. instead, i'm talking to a damn blog. idk. just eff life. :]

i feel it now.

okay. remember my last blog? when i said that i felt like life was going to slap me in the face. well it finally did. it yelled at me and i cried. i really don't understand. well, i sorta do, but then again, i don't. this is so stupid. i can't do anything right anymore. i really just need to take a break from it all. just sit back and be alone. but there's no way to do that. or atleast, not that i'm aware of. i feel like i just bring everyone down. i can't make anyone happy. i don't know. i'm gonna go plant some flowers or something.

get a grip.

geeze. i feel like i'm not taking life seriously enough anymore and it's about to slap me in the face and say, "WAKE UP BITCH!" seriously...
and i feel so out of it lately. like, i don't even remember today. well, barely. but anyway, i don't even know what i'm ranting about. gah.

play the trumpet.

so school today was fun. well, sorta. haha. anyway, in my english class we're reading a story called The Martian Chronicles and today it really made me wonder. what happens after you die? i've always kinda wondered that but, for some reason, today i thought about it long and hard. Because in the chapter we're reading, the men go to mars and it's actually where people were reborn after they had died. I just wonder if something like that happens. Like, i know people have their concept of heaven and hell, but that's not what i'm getting at. What if you are reborn in a different place? Well, i don't know. whatever happens, happens. i feel like i'm starting to rant so let's get on another topic.

okay, so i feel like i'm starting to get lazy. Lazier than i already am, and that's bad. Very bad. i really need to get out and do stuff. be adventurous. something along those lines. haha. :]

school and stuff.

gee, i haven't updated for soooo long. it's because i forgot my password. ^.^ haha. anyway. i had quite a nice weekend. friday was our school talent show and it was amazing!! after the talent show i hung out with some friends and had fuuun. :] lol. saturday ally and i went to the mall and we talked and waved to random people. that night we stayed up and played rockband and stuff. sunday i had people over too, and we just hung out and watched movies and stuff. pughaaaaaaa.
school can be fun. :] ha, well i try to make it fun. i just take a lot of pictures. i can't wait for school to be over, but i know i'll miss it a lot. haha. well, i'm off for now.